A whole new direction

I know that I haven’t been on in  a very long time (under internet time) and that is because life, in various forms, has gotten in the way. For one I now have a job. It is not a great job and like most I don’t like what I am doing. This new job, though crappy, has put it back in my head that I really need to stop dreaming and get working on my career. After much thought I have decided to work on my writing. It is something that I enjoy and is solitary enough to be consistently fun. So I am going to take this blog and turn it into more of a weekly opinion blog. I don’t plan on having a major subject other than what I feel effects us as humans. Again trying to keep in with the original title of “A Human’s Revolution”. I will post one day every week with occasional things added as needed. The plan is to start next Monday with the first topic. I will not post any other time than 9:15 in the evening. Thank you for sticking with me. Lets hope this is a start to a long great career.

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20 topics for consideration

I think that the last thing I was going to write before I took my little hiatus was the list of subjects and topics that I would enjoy covering on a Podcast or Vodcast that I want to create. I am going to explain more on each individual topic in separate posts so this is just the overall list. Some things may seem strange when just in the list so please wait for me to cover more later. These are listed in no particular order but these are the main 20 topics or people or subjects that I want to cover.

 

  1. Language
  2. Communication
  3. Penn Jillette
  4. Photography
  5. Writing
  6. Art
  7. Queen
  8. Music
  9. The Evolution of Technology
  10. Amy Lee
  11. Human Interaction
  12. Religion
  13. Movies
  14. Psychology
  15. Philosophy
  16. Economics
  17. Internet
  18. Theatre
  19. The Evolution of Language
  20. The Hunt For John Deacon

I will more than likely not cover these subjects in the order that I listed them here.

Thank you for your time.

Jobs We Create For Ourselves

I keep trying to think of ways of getting work or at least things I can do to make money to survive. I keep trying to figure out a way of making use of the interesting ideas, the drives that I have and the skills that I have. I’ve talked about the fact that I am a sound engineer (I think). I am very much a person that has an imagination so I can come up with some really odd ideas. People have in fact called me insane (not just for the ideas but that’s another story). I am not sure how much of that is affected by the fact that I don’t completely like simplicity. There are times when things being simple is good. Going to the store for instance. I’m not talking about those times. I am again referring to the search for answers but not necessarily for personal answers. I am talking about the only way that you can gain answers or knowledge, by asking questions. I tend to have a lot of questions. To gain the answers I watch as many different programs as I can. I read what I can find on any subject (of course with the internet finding reliable sources can take as long as reading the actual articles). I want to learn all I can about any subject (whether it be about a person, a topic, or a concept).

I’ve thought about how I could actually do something with that drive. I keep wanting to try and make a podcast or internet radio show  where I can interview people I find fascinating or subjects that I want to learn about. I love this idea and I have thought about trying to see how I might be able to get funding. There are a couple of websites where you can put an idea up and see if there is anybody willing to help you with it. That seems simple enough but as most know things are very rarely ever that simple.

The things about this is that make it complex are many. I am not going to go into all of them but here are just a few explained. One is the idea of finding an audience. In just trying to understand how the human mind works I have seen article after article that says that most people are not willing to watch or listen to anything over two hours or so. The reason that could be a problem is that I don’t want to put a time limit on any discussion that I would have for the show. I realize that I could take the longer “raw” version and knock of the edges to fit a certain length then put the full raw version out there for whoever wants it which might be a good compromise. But even that idea may be hard to sell to companies that may want to sponsor the show. Then of course what I consider to be the biggest issue is that I live in a small town in Kentucky. How the hell would I be able to get access to any of the people that I want to talk too. I consider these kind of things as mental exercise. I like doing them so I may discuss this more in future writings. Cover more of the wants and ideas for it. Maybe I can figure out how to make it happen along the way. Please tell me what you think. I really want input on this one.

Thank you for your time.

My Priorities

I think I’ve got my priorities wrong. I’ve been trying to figure out the wrong things. I have been trying to figure out stuff that really has little to no impact on my life at the moment. I have been spending too much of my time a trying to figure out things that really the only reason I have been stuck on them because I could not for the life of me figure out why I wanted the idea in the first place. I have also been looking at these things as if they did matter only because it makes me look at things from different angles. I am realizing that I have been spending way to much time trying to answer questions that don’t matter. I am letting go of somethings and I am going to try and really change how things are going in my life. How I’ve done things tell now are not working. I am going to change that and I am going to be reworking my priorities soon. I need to work on questions that can be answered and not questions that really don’t have an answer. I need to work on the answers that matter. I need to rethink everything. This was probably a bit confusing and I’m sorry.

Thank you for your time.

On Work

This is kind of a addition to that last post (Hate to Admit). I realize that menial are not really jobs that anybody enjoys having but I would be willing to work my ass off if I had one. Jobs now a days seem to be more about survival more than about enjoyment. I think everyone has there dream job. I actually have a couple of dream jobs. I’ve really been considering the things I want to do for a career especially since I am not getting work currently more than the occasional odd job. I have been working as a sound engineer for the last 4 years but I haven’t been able to get enough work to pay the bills. I love being a sound engineer and I wish I could get on as a front of house sound engineer for a band but I am noticing I am going to have to move from my current location to make that easier.

I’ve even thought about trying to become a writer. I am not sure what I would write about. I mean I’ve been able to make some decent posts about music before and I do ok at writing these posts but I am not sure I could be a journalist. I have started to work on a Sci-fi book. I find it easier to write because I am not as worried about someone reading it so quickly. I have the ability to edit it more before someone sees it. I am actually excited about writing my book. I am still doing a bit of research and organizing of thoughts. I am not really sure how it will turn out but I hope its good. I’m not sure if either of these jobs will actually comes to pass but it is good to dream at times. I am in a little bit of a better place right now even though I’ve had an issue recently so I was just thinking about where I would like to go.

Thank you for your time.

What I want

I have decided recently that I really do want a pen pal. I want it to be who I want. I want it to be Amy Lee. The why is still a mystery to me and I am not even sure on the how. I get comfort from the idea that I could come home and get a nice e-mail from her and then be able to write something back. I like the idea of having something more to look forward to more than what I already have. It is a fantasy and dream. It is a fantasy cause it is something that is so incredibly unlikely but it is a dream because of that even .000000001 percent chance of happening (that’s using my personal definitions). I have recently got a kick in the ass to start to think about those things I want out of life and in life.

I still realize that the likelihood that she would even feel comfortable enough to write me. But lets just say she would for a moment (crazy I know). How would I even contact her in the first place that she would take as a serious request for friendship. I’ve been a couple of recommendations that I felt would be going way to far and very unhelpful. Of course though those recommendations were not meant to be taken seriously. And really I think that I just want to get to know who she is above and beyond what someone can get from a general search on the internet. I want to get it from her because I don’t like hearsay. And frankly I have been realizing that I don’t care if it completely changes how I think of her. I hope this made sense. This was written rather quick as I wanted to get it down.

Thank you for your time.

Is it wrong

Is it wrong that I still want to have a friendship with Amy Lee? I am feeling down right now and that question is popping into my head. I am fascinated by her and I want to know her. I don’t give a shit about the music or why she wrote certain songs. I care about what is in her mind. I want to get to know the whole person not just the musician. I never really know how to explain myself especially at these times. I don’t really think that being able to have any contact with her will change the frequency and longevity of my depressive states so I am not even sure what it is that I really what I expect having a friend like her to do. She seems intelligent and I think there is a hell of a lot more than we are allowed to see. It maybe that I just want to know that we as humans are deeper than the little things. I don’t really think I am of value and I have to be reminded that I am of value to my family and friend. She is a fixation, I think, because she is foreign to me but seems to be very similar in someways. I am never sure and I war with myself constantly over this idea but I do believe that you can tell what’s deeper in a person’s mind. When I look at photos of her I get the idea that she has a lot of mentalities like I do. Even as I write this, this just still seems like sentimental unavailable bullshit that I am using to get me through these tougher times. The way I see it has changed some but it is still there and it won’t go away. Sometimes I don’t want it to. These periods are getting more frequent and sometimes harder to deal with. I don’t know why but I find the idea something that will never happen comforting. If she ever were to read this blog she would never want to talk to me and frankly I can’t blame her. Could anyone? This was just a spur of the moment post so I thank you for reading it. I thank anyone who reads my ramblings. I hope in some small way it helps others to know that they are not alone though even I feel that way a lot.

Thank you for your time.