When it hits

I am currently in an odd period that has more recently started to crop up. I want to write right now but I am finding it very hard to find a topic that doesn’t sound like shit in my head. I’ve been sitting here for the last hour (before starting this) trying to write a couple of posts but as soon as I started them I lost the concept of what I was trying to write. I am not happy and I want to write about that but I really don’t know how at the moment. I like intellectual discussions and I want to be able to at least look at my own issues intellectually. The problem is that again I keep getting to a point where it sounds incredibly stupid and that it doesn’t sound like I described how I feel very well. It seems to be worse when I am depressed but I really need to figure a way around that issue.

I find it hard to make this next statement because of a fear that the people who read this don’t want to read more blogs about this topic. In someways I do get some enjoyment and it is freeing to write about Amy Lee. The very first post I made about her (Just get it over with) was freeing. It felt good to be able to make a post admitting things that I had kept bottled up. The problem is I still think I am crazy for feeling the way I feel. I think that the fact that I want to have any contact with her is crazy and that it is not something that is helpful. I need to cover more and I need to just get on with it and write about it. I am not really sure why I am so worried about how the people who read this blog think that it is causing me not to be able to write. I think that this wouldn’t be any different if I was sitting in front of a professional or not. I don’t really think that it would be different if I was sitting in front of a complete stranger and there are times where I feel that talking to a complete stranger may be the easiest thing to do. In a way I am doing that with this blog. So I think that I need to just make a post talking about one of the topics that I have wanted to write about and just write it no matter how it sounds. I think this will be one of the most difficult things I am going to have to do but I hope that it makes a change. If I am crazy I may just need to admit it. All this is strange coming from a guy who doesn’t really like people.

Thank you for your time.


1 Comment

  1. Hey there my name is Sally and I’m a blogger and this site really aided me. I’m enthused! Thanks!

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